My Journey

It all started when…

I was deployed to Basra, Iraq on a security detail for the US consulate in my late twenties.  I began experimenting with an ancestral diet to increase my physical performance.  What I had been taught in school and growing up was just not making the cut.  I was dependent on highly refined carbohydrates up until that point, and I was suffering the consequences.  Poor energy levels, difficulty getting lean (no matter how hard I worked out), afternoon crashes, and operating in a cognitive fog were only some of the ill effects I was experiencing.  I decided to start investing my energy in learning how to optimize my performance through diet.

I have been through all sorts of diets over the years (high protein, Paleo, Ketogenic, etc.), and found that any deviation from the Standard American Diet (SAD) towards a more ancestral way of eating will vastly benefit anyone's life.  My experimentation with diets and functional training was on an "All gas, all brake" rollercoaster for years.  I lived through deployment cycles, so I was training and working hard while on mission in some foreign country, and playing hard whenever I was on leave.  Speaking of going on leave, (that's vacation in military language) I decided to stop traveling all the way back to the United States and permanently move to Thailand.  It was living in Thailand when I fell in love with Muay Thai (kickboxing with knees and elbows).  I also fell in love with drugs, and furthered my addiction to alcohol.  Years later I decided to up and move from Thailand to the Philippines where I would surely rest quietly on a beach and be free of my problems.

Nope.  I became further lost in a sea of alcohol and drug dependency during my two years living in the Philippines.  My life was spinning out of control.  I was dealing with an undiagnosed bipolar disorder at the time, and suffering from depression and suicidal ideas and behaviors.  I realized that my life was over if I did not start moving in the direction of a solution.  Just after the New Year celebrations, in January of 2015 I moved myself back to the United States.  I was essentially homeless, so my dear friend Geoff Brenno gave me the opportunity to live with him, rent free, while I got back on my feet.  It was while living with Geoff that I kicked my drug habits and started addressing my alcoholism.  I also sought help from the Veterans Administration for some of my conditions (from two wars) and bipolar disorder.  I started experimenting with diet again, and fitness found it's way into my world once more.  I began training my Muay Thai further after my long hiatus from its practice.  Life was getting much better, and Geoff was along for the ride, working out with me religiously as I climbed back to the person I had been.

After almost a year living with Geoff I decided I needed a new career.  Carrying guns around war zones hadn't really gotten me anywhere, so in keeping with the motif of "high intensity, adrenaline filled, well paying" jobs, I settled on commercial dive school.  In November of 2015 I moved down to Jacksonville, Florida to attend dive school.  Six months later I walked out of there with all my certifications, and a prestigious award for graduating at the top of my class (1st place).  I was finally back!  Geoff drove all the way down from Plattsburgh, New York to Jacksonville just to give me a ride back up North.  That is what kind of a best friend Geoff was.  The plan was to live with Geoff for the next three month while I awaited a slot in the dive medic course later that year (2016).  

I started working a temporary job as security at a couple of bars to keep me occupied in the meantime.  After three weeks of being back home in Plattsburgh life was going swimmingly.  I was furthering my fitness pursuits, and narrowing my diet and lifestyle down into a seriously healthy ordeal.

In the early morning hours of May 22nd, 2016 I awoke in a daze surrounded by heat and choking on smoke.  I had arrived home from the bar after my shift and had went to bed.  I must have been asleep for an hour or so when I was awakened by the building burning around us.  The next minutes were a whirlwind of chaos, fear, training, confusion, and perseverance as I struggled to search our apartment for the source of the fire and an exit.  What I came to discover was that the fire was far, far worse than I had imagined, and realized I need to get shit moving or we were dead.  Geoff and I lived in a three story apartment, and our space took up the top two floors.  My dash upstairs was lightning quick.  I needed to get him awake and find a way out for us.  The smoke and fire was suffocating.  I was losing consciousness...  the thought of him still in his room made me drive harder.

After arousing him from his sleep and partly dragging him through his doorway on the way to the stairs I slipped.  The entry landing to the top of the stairs was directly out his bedroom door, and I had managed to go cascading down it in a pile.  I figured he would be following me rather shortly given the situation.  I clamored for the window that I knew was nearby.  I somehow lost my way (once again) and finally broke out a window across the living room.  This lead out to the second story roof.  Tumbling onto the roof in a heap, gasping for any air, I waited...

That night, in that house, was another pivotal moment in my life, my journey.  I was alone in the ambulance on my way to the hospital, shattered by the experience of losing my best friend.  This man who had picked me up from the proverbial ashes I was living in, and guided me back to health and prosperity.  Geoff had selflessly given me so much in life.  He waited on me and cooked for me as I went through weeks of drug withdrawal living with him.  He had taught me, provided for me, and offered me unconditional friendship.  His council was what allowed me to recenter myself, and discover the road to success once more.  Geoffrey Brenno will always be my hero and savior.  It is in his honor and memory that I begin this story of guidance to help others towards a functional, healthy, and happy lifestyle. 

(continued...)

In the wake of the fire I was homeless once more, and moved out with my Mother and her significant other Pat to a quiet, beautiful property in the rural countryside of New York.  My compass was all fucked up, and I needed to find true North again.  I resided in a small camper behind the main house on the property.  I was again battling against falling back into the bottom of a booze bottle.  In an effort to try and control my alcohol problem I redoubled my effort towards fitness.  The road was not without detours, but this dramatically helped me deal with some of the issues I was experiencing within myself.

Three months into staying with my Mother I received help through the VA to be moved into government assisted housing.  It was time to rebuild from scratch.  Of course one of the first pieces of furniture I bought for my living room was a wooden kung fu practice dummy (called a Muk Jong).  The regrowing and building back up was a tedious, arduous, and emotional gauntlet.  Shortly after my arrival into my own apartment I met a very special woman and her endearing, bright son.  A ray of hope and light into my otherwise bleak existence.   

Since the writing of this, it has been over three years since I met these two amazing people and felt the warmth of their love in my life.  Now, I dedicate my life educating others in the healing art of Steel Mace Flow. I wish to bring this Mace Movement system that has healed my body and mind to other veterans and people suffering from trauma. My journey has been long, difficult, educational, and at many times inspirational.  My journey is not over...